Dear Love Doctor, I am 31, my fiancé is 36 and a paramedic – he’s an ambulance driver. It’s a good relationship and I love him, but he works shifts and often does overnights at the weekend. I often feel lonely. I was home alone a few months ago watching TV when my neighbour across the street knocked the door.
He said something had gone wrong with his laptop and asked if he could use our computer as he had important work to do. I let him in, gave him a drink and left him to it for an hour or so. Around 10 pm he came into my room, thanked me and kissed me on the cheek.
Then he sat down next to me, leaned in and we started kissing softly. It felt so nice and I couldn’t tell him to stop. Things got a bit more heated and we had sex. I felt so guilty but there is no denying I loved every minute. It’s turned into regular sessions when my fiancé works evenings. The sex feels really hot, probably partly because we know it’s never going to be more than sex. I know the guy over the street just sees this as fun – he’s not looking for anything serious. In one way I feel cheap. I really love my partner and I don’t want to be caught cheating, but I feel addicted.
I know it will all end in tears but how can I stop?
Love Doctor’s Advice:
Be clear, you will get caught – it’s just a matter of time – and the cheating will do immense damage to your relationship. Chances are that you will lose your fiancé.Having your neighbour pop round on lonely evenings has become a habit but habits can be broken.
Tell him it’s over, then make sure you don’t stay home alone when your fiancé is working. Arrange to go out with girlfriends or family, or get into some new interests like get fit or voluntary work. You say you love your fiancé so put more energy into your relationship. You can inject some sparkle and have mind-blowing sex with him too.
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