Foluke Daramola-Salako is a household name in the movie industry. The eloquent actress and movie director talks about her rape ordeal, foundation and new movie with DGossip247.
Why launch a foundation that focuses on rape and what are the objectives?
Passion Against Rape in Africa (PARA) Foundation was borne not only from having been a victim of child sexual abuse, but also the need to raise an awareness through aggressive mass sensitisation programmes at all levels, targeting various stakeholders.
The objectives are to formally educate about the risks of growing up as a young girl, push for enforcement of the law and prosecution of perpetrators so as to serve as a deterrent for future abusers, and inform and persuade the populace about control measure, rights and regulations around sexual abuse as an offence. Others are creating a forum for open discussions and interaction with industry experts and professionals for guidance and counselling sessions as well as creating boldness and confidence in the minds of victims while molestation is significantly reduced.
You said you were a victim of rape. When did this happen?
It happened when I was 16 years old. I was wearing a gold mini skirt and top and I think there was a wedding and I was going to return plates when he dragged me on the stairs. At that age, I was big and busty so people felt that I was older than my age. When it happened, I told my mother but she warned that no other ear should hear about it.
I felt I caused it and it made me feel bad and guilty. So in my first marriage I was frigid. I saw sex as bad. The worst part was that I couldn’t even discuss with anybody because I felt I inflicted the pain on myself.
I felt I was the one that was wrong. But in my second marriage, I had to see a psychologist who told me that the only way to come out of the ordeal was to talk about it, to create awareness for victims that find it challenging to speak about their personal encounter and it has helped. Today, I talk freely about it.
How do you intend to achieve these objectives?
I intend to start from the grassroots that is actually my target. I won’t even call PARA a foundation but a platform where I can impact on the grassroots. A lot of people in the grassroots do not understand the implication of rape. I can get aid from international bodies but I believe that in my own little way, I can penetrate my grassroots.
I know how it is to have your daughter hawk goods or have them exposed to things that are unthinkable without able to defend themselves. So they need people who can enlighten them on what to do when they face certain problems. There is no reason why I cannot take one or two of my movies and show it at the grassroots while trying to sensitise people.
We intend to start in Lagos, move to Abuja and then to Port Harcourt. We will also have seminars and crusades because rape cases are on the increase and the consequence is enormous but many people don’t understand. So we need to re-orientate the common man, address the issue and shield our daughters.
Aside being a victim, what exactly drives this passion?
I want to see that the inci-dence of rape is given the deserved attention and PARA is my passion to lead the fight against rape in Africa. My passion is to keep sensitising people of the world that our society must stop sweeping incidence of rape under the carpet and pretending it does not exist in Africa.
Rape exists and it is criminal in its entire definitive ramification. I am also a victim that is why I am using my opportunity as a renowned Nollywood practitioner and human rights crusader to lead the way and war against the scourge.
We know that parents cannot be with their daughters always, but, how can they be shielded from rape to an extent?
The fundamental thing is for parents to be able to study their children, both the boys and girls. When you notice any changes in your child, you should ask what the problem is. Also, when your child is weary of somebody or she is getting scared around someone, you should be inquisitive to know why.
When your daughter tells you that she doesn’t want to go to a particular place, you should ask why instead of forcing the innocent child to go there, not knowing what that man she calls ‘uncle’ is doing to her. In addition, if you have a teenage daughter who takes her bath outside, it should be stopped. It doesn’t cost a parent anything to know that their once boisterous, warm and playful daughter is now docile. Once there is a change in your daughter’s attitude, automatically you will know that something is wrong.
What advice do you have for parents especially mothers?
They should try as much as possible to be friends with their children especially their daughters. And if your daughter is raped, you should encourage her to speak out so that she can be helped early and not suffer the consequences later in life. Also, do not make her feel responsible or guilty for the act because it could be psychologically tormenting. Besides the psychological damage, victims suffer physical damage and health consequences like unwanted pregnancy and HIV.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
I see myself taking PARA to another level. I mean going to different African countries to give speeches, hold seminars and crusades on rape, be a voice to the voiceless and make people understand that there would come a time when disclaimers will be put on the names of rapists. So if you believe that you can buy yourself away from the law, we will see how you will buy yourself away from the public because we intend to go that far. With this, rapists will know how it feels when every woman starts running away from them.
This is your second marriage and you seem to be very happy. What is the secret?
I will say peace of mind and having the right man by my side. Aside being my husband, he is my friend and that is very important in every marriage. He loves, understands, supports and cares for me. He is also there for me whenever I need him so why won’t I be happy? When you are contented in marriage, of course it will definitely show.
How do you measure success?
It’s more of value and moral based. Success is not how much you have but how much you have been able to impact on humanity.
What has life taught you?
Life has taught me that you should never compromise your happiness. Also, it is good to impact into humanity.
What is your fashion fetish?
I love wristwatches and my favourite designer is Michael Kors.
What is your new movie, Cobweb, about?
It is an intriguing story of what destiny wants for the only son of a poor fisherman and what his under-privileged illiterate father wants by force for his future. The story attracts the love and passion of every typical African home for the purpose of learning that the wish of destiny over who and what a child becomes in life can always supersede that of parental domination, force and probably their undue influence most times.
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