Tuesday, May 05, 2015

SO SAD: A Man Committed Suicide In Lagos State

1.      PREAMBLE
This is AN UPDATE to the initial press statement issued by the family of Mrs Busayo Olafare nee Taiwo, on the unfortunate suicide of her husband Oluwaseun Paul Olafare, on Sunday, 12th of April, 2015.

2.      WHY ARE WE UPDATING OUR PRESS STATEMENT?
We had, until the initial press statement of Tuesday 28th April, 2015, maintained a dignified silence, despite huge temptations to break it by the thoughtless action of her husband’s family who threw caution to the winds by going on unbridled rampage on social media. They ran a one-sided campaign of hate and calumny filled with innuendos, half-truths, brainless lies, prejudicial comments, and unfounded and baseless accusations sprinkled with a generous dose of libel.
AS WE WRITE, THEY HAVE SIDETRACKED DUE PROCESS AND IN CONNIVANCE WITH THE HOSPITAL AUTHORITIES, COLLECTED THE DECEASED BODY AND BURIED IT ON SATURDAY, 2ND MAY, 2015 WITHOUT THE PRESENCE OF THE WIFE AND THE CHILDREN AND HER FAMILY.
THIS IS ALSO DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE POLICE ARE STILL CONDUCTING INVESTIGATIONS, AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT BUSAYO IS IN HER FOURTH WEEK OF DETENTION FOR A CLEAR CASE OF SUICIDE.
WHATEVER THE POLICE INVESTIGATION WILL REVEAL, WE ARE SAYING IT IS A CLEAR CASE OF SUICIDE BECAUSE IT IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO FORCE DOWN THE THROAT OF EVEN A DAY-OLD-BABY THE AMOUNT OF POISONOUS SUBSTANCE THAT HE TOOK TO END HIS LIFE!
Amongst other reasons, we had kept quiet:
               I.            ....out of respect for the memory of the deceased who was more of a beloved son than a son-in-law.
             II.            .... out of shock, we must confess, at the way those who are claiming that they loved Seun were treating his memory.
          III.            .... out of consideration for the feelings of our daughter whose grief was compounded by the inconsiderate action of her husband’s family who, without conscience and out of malice, and despite knowing the facts, accused Busayo of murdering her husband, on account of which she was taken into custody by the Police.
          IV.            .... out of the belief that the irrational noise they were making was not the best, and that common sense will eventually prevail, considering that the marriage produced two children (out of three confinements) who are still infants, and who deserve a better memory of a father they will grow up without knowing.
            V.            ....also because of the belief that we should not issue any statements or engage in a press war with Seun’s family, in order not to prejudice Police investigations into the matter in any way.
We are constrained to update our statement and open up more because this family has misled the public down the wrong road for too long and are trying so hard to “give a dog a bad name to hang it”! They are desperate, for reasons best known to them, to act the woman in the bible who lost her child, and wanted King Solomon to divide her partner’s child into two out of pure hate, jealousy and malice. (1 Kings 3: verses 16 - 28).
3.      WHO WAS OLUWASEUN PAUL OLAFARE?
The social media and regular newspapers have published enough snippets of his life, especial the ‘award-winning pharmacist’ and youth mentor bit. The public has also heard that he had financial issues. He took a loan from a bank and a cooperative without consulting the wife, but was forced to tell her when the centre could not hold, and when she had to even be fuelling and maintaining the car, in addition to picking up all the bills.

Let’s go back a little and we’ll see that Seun was an insecure child; according to his older brother Femi Olafare, he had once wanted to commit suicide because he broke five crates of minerals with the liquid contents, for fear of punishment from his mother.

Fast forward to his Facebook Note of November, 15, 2011, where he wrote what he titled, “This is my story”:
When all the light becomes darkness, when your strength becomes weakness,
 When all you preach against catch up with you, when failure stands face to face, shoulder to shoulder with you.
When you are surrounded by people that doesn’t (sic) understand you <loneliness?>.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF COMMITTING SUICIDE? OH! I HAVE BEEN THERE”
He went further to tell us, how he “grew up in the slum”,
how he “MOVED WITH THE DEAD”,
 how his “mum and dad splitted (sic)”, and,
how he thought he “WOULD NEVER HAVE A FUTURE”.
ON APRIL 3RD 2015, SEUN SENT A TEXT MESSAGE TO BUSAYO ASKING HER TO REMARRY IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HIM; of course, this was ‘rejected in Jesus’ name’ by Busayo. She discussed the matter with him and they ended up praying about it. She suggested going for counselling but this he vehemently rejected.

His last post on Facebook was on 4th April, 2015 wherein he wrote,
LIFE IS NOT FAIR...
I returned and saw under the sun,
that the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong
neither yet bread to the wise nor yet favour to men of skill.....”

That Seun had psychological issues is not in doubt. He was a relatively quiet person who didn’t speak out his mind and was haunted by the fact that he came from a broken home. He could only sleep with lights on because, according to him, evil spirits are in the darkness around him. Days before his death, during a night vigil, a bird flew into the church, and he said to the hearing of many people that ‘it was him they came for’. At another vigil, someone had a vision that he saw a human form walking with its legs above the ground, Seun promptly said, again to the hearing of many people, that ‘they came for him’. He was given a message to remain under ‘protection’ in their church for some days but failed to complete it. He had once expressed to his wife that he felt like jumping into the lagoon from the Third Mainland Bridge, this is what his siblings twisted into Busayo physically restraining him from jumping from the bridge.      
There is no doubt that his financial problems significantly contributed to his depressed state of mind, which led to his unfortunate end. There is evidence that Seun’s father put him under financial pressure, through a text message, for Seun to “assist” him in the burial of his brother in the days leading to his suicide.
His father told people that he had a horrible dream about Seun days before, and sent a text message telling him not to give himself to the ‘enemy’. He told Seun to see him on that same Sunday when he killed himself. Apparently, they know the ‘enemy’, and a few things about this unfortunate event that they have not told the world.
Again, but for the incomprehensibly thoughtless attitude of his family, all these should not be in the public domain.


4.      ‘WHO IS MRS. BUSAYO OLAFARE (NEE TAIWO)?
Busayo is the first child of the family, she is thirty-one years old, has three siblings - an immediate younger brother and a pair of twins one male and the other female. She is a double graduate of Accountancy of the Yaba College of Technology and the University of Lagos. She holds a Higher National Diploma and Bachelors Degree respectively of the two top higher institutions in Lagos. She works in one of the top financial institutions in Lagos. Raised in a solid Christian home, her passion for God is not in question, and as said earlier, she has two children, who are infants, a male and female, for her late husband.

5.      WHAT HAPPENED AND WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?
Early in the morning on Sunday 12th of April, 2015, we were jolted by a phone call from                         Busayo telling us that Seun had attempted committing suicide and had been rushed to the hospital. This naturally shocked us to our bone marrows. On our way to the hospital, we got another call that he had died in the hospital. We made our way to their residence where we met her in a state of understandable shock; she was a total emotional wreck. Their neighbours were trying so hard to calm her down as she was totally distraught, while awaiting the arrival of families on both sides.
We asked Busayo what happened and she told us that they were preparing for church and as she was about to iron their sutana, Seun offered to do it. Busayo at a stage found out that his sutana was not amongst the ones to be ironed. She asked him why and he answered that he would not be going to church because he is expected to contribute some money in the church which he cannot afford. According to the wife, he was visibly unhappy to the extent that she gave him some money and told him to pick more money from the wardrobe if he needed more to sort things out in the church. He told her that she should go ahead to the church and that he would join her later.
She went to the bathroom to take her bath and on her return found him with the plastic bottle containing the poisonous substance that he drank, and before she could stop him, he drank more of the substance. She rushed to the kitchen to bring palm oil to use as an antidote and raised an alarm calling on the neighbours for help; however, he told her that “it was too late”!
With the help of neighbours, he was rushed to the hospital where he eventually gave up the ghost.

We must remark that her offer to give him money to sort out the financial issue in the church was not the first time that she would assist him financially; aside from cash, there are verifiable records of fund transfers from her to him to support this. These transfers were usually to sort out one financial problem or the other as his finances were never in a good shape. At this stage, it is right to disclose that it was Busayo that provided the money for the renewal of their tenancy and was also the one taking care of the school fees (kindergarten/crèche) of the kids, fills the gas, buys clothes for the children, and also takes care of feeding. These are facts that ordinarily are not supposed to come into the public domain but for the way his family had taken matters.

6.       WAS SEUN’S FAMILY IMMEDIATELY INFORMED OF HIS SUICIDE?
On getting to the late Seun and Busayo’s residence, we asked if his family had been informed, and the neighbours confirmed that Seun’s family had been informed of his death. Specifically, we were told that his father had been informed but that he said he did not believe them, and that they couldn’t be talking about his son. Right there in our presence, his father was called again severally without any positive response from him. Whilst we appreciate that shock could have made him act strangely - he was obviously in a state of denial - it is certainly not true that he was not informed of Seun’s death! HE WAS INFORMED IMMEDIATELY IT HAPPENED!

7.     WAS SEUN’S CORPSE REALLY TAKEN TO THE MORGUE WITHOUT HIS FAMILY’S “CONSENT”?
The neighbours who helped to rush him to the hospital were the ones who took his body from the hospital where he died to the mortuary at Gbagada General Hospital, which was the sensible thing to do. It is a fact that he did not die in the house; that was why he was rushed to the hospital in the first place. It is patently silly and completely unreasonable to expect his neighbours to bring his corpse back to the house! The neighbours were with the corpse IN THE MORTUARY PREMISES all this while; the body was IN THE VEHICLE that took it there and HAD NOT YET been deposited in the morgue.
Back in the house, Busayo and members of our family waited for Seun’s family who did not show up, to the extent that the neighbours who were with his body started fretting and calling for members of the family to come to the mortuary to take possession of his body. Their landlord came back from the mortuary, and being an old man needed to rest and take his drugs, he did all this in the house, and still HELD ON TO THE DEATH CERTIFICATE without which the body cannot be accepted in the mortuary. We waited and waited but no one from his family showed up. As time wore on, ambient temperature was rising and everyone started worrying that the body by now ought to have been deposited in the morgue, still not one of his family members had shown up. Finally, we all moved to the Gbagada General Hospital mortuary where we were told that there was no longer space for the body. Their neighbours naturally were no longer prepared to go further and insisted that the body be transferred to another vehicle. One of Seun’s friends offered his car and we all made our way to the Mainland Hospital Yaba. Even here we waited for members of his family to show up. The body was not brought down from the car though we were not comfortable with the rising temperature. Finally, we heard that members of his family were on the way, and when they arrived, they saw the body which was still in the car that took him to the mortuary. After the protocols for admitting the body was completed, ONE OF SEUN’S SIBLINGS, BABALOLA, SIGNED THE PAPERS TO ADMIT HIS CORPSE TO THE MORGUE. SEUN’S FATHER AND A HOST OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS WERE PRESENT IN OR AROUND THE MORGUE! Yet, in glaring contradiction to the facts, they went on to tell the world the brainless and barefaced lie that Busayo’s family deposited Seun’s body in the morgue without their consent!
                                                             
8.      DID BUSAYO TRY TO RUN AWAY?
Nothing could be more ridiculous than suggesting that she tried to run away! Seun’s family is trying to turn a sobering tragedy into a farce or outright mockery; unfortunately, they are not good scriptwriters. It is a baseless accusation borne out of the need to be sensational and theatrical with the tragedy.
After leaving the mortuary, knowing that suicide is reportable, we went to Oworonsoki Police Station to incident it. It is silly to accuse a woman who was accompanied by her uncle, siblings and other members of her family to VOLUNTARILY report the incident at the appropriate Police Station, of trying to run away. We made it clear to the Police that we were taking her to our family house.
It was AFTER reporting at the Police Station that we went back to the house to pick few of her clothes and some of the things needed by her infant children and not to pack her property as was being insinuated. This is because she and her children had nothing else except what they were wearing. Being bereaved in such a sudden and tragic manner, and knowing the kind of family they are, it was inconceivable to leave her alone in their rented apartment, with two infants, (one barely a year old and the other just over two years old). Considering the emotional trauma she was going through, it was more convenient to take her away to her family house. This was especially expedient, considering that Seun’s family members were openly threatening to deal with Busayo at the mortuary, as is common with some families who make scapegoats of  the wife/husband in cases like this.
Objective members of the public should ask themselves whether it would make sense to leave her in her state of mind with a family that beat Busayo up even while she had just delivered her first child, and was still bleeding, and also beat her up on the day of the naming ceremony of her second baby. Before then, she had once received a threatening text message from her father-in-law. Should we have left her in that state of mind to a family that has physically assaulted her before? We were proved right when Femi beat her up again at the Oworonsoki Police Station in full view of policemen.
As we speak, they have demonstrated their wickedness to the world by reporting a case of suspected murder, although SEUN’S ELDER BROTHER, FEMI, HAVE SAID IT AT LEAST THREE TIMES THAT WE KNOW OF, TO OUR HEARING AND TO THE HEARING OF CREDIBLE WITNESSES, THAT HE KNEW HIS BROTHER COMMITTED SUICIDE BUT THAT BUSAYO MUST PAY FOR IT.
As we write, Busayo is still in Police custody instead of mourning her husband, her two infant children who have lost their father are now being denied of motherly comfort and love, but this family went about telling the world that she has been released. Also, to justify re-opening of their beer-selling business at Akute, which they inherited from their late mother, they told people that Seun had been buried when his body was still in the morgue. Also, to justify burying Seun in the absence of his wife and children, they told people that Busayo had been released and was too ill to attend the burial whereas as we write, she is in her fourth week of detention for something she knows nothing about.
Where would Busayo have run to? She has a career job and two infant children. Her maternal and paternal family houses are both located in Somolu, and it was one of these addresses that was given to the Police at Oworonsoki. Suggesting that she would run away is suggesting that her whole family, and her uncle and his family who live in that house would run away. It is so ridiculous!
Incidentally, the first child of the family, Iyabode, had before now, lost her husband too. This same family accusing Busayo of trying to run away packed all her belongings and took Iyabode away that same day.

9.      BUSAYO WAS BEATEN UP BY FEMI OLAFARE WHILST IN THE CUSTODY OF THE POLICE AT OWORONSOKI!
Femi Olafare, the elder brother of the deceased, who is a Federal Road Safety Corps officer took pictures of Busayo while in the custody of the Police and also beat her up while in custody. He was not arrested for this grievous offence committed in broad daylight apparently because he is a Road Safety Corp officer. Busayo was not allowed to incident this at the Oworonsoki Police Station despite her insistence and that of the family. The authorities concerned are being asked to tell us whether complainants are allowed to be accuser, investigator, prosecutor, judge and executioner. Otherwise, why was Femi Olafare not taken into custody for beating up a young widow with two infant children, and who is still in emotional trauma from her loss, and whose woes are being compounded by being unjustly accused of suspected murder in a clear case of suicide? On this score, we are asking for justice for Busayo.

10.  ON THE ALLEGATION OF BUSAYO SHIELDING THE OLAFARE FAMILY FROM SEEING THE CHILDREN
Busayo works Monday to Saturday and has to leave home very early. She gets home as late as eleven pm and sometimes later; Seun, on the other hand, had more flexible hours. He worked shifts and was the one who took the children to and from school. Every other week, he was free from 8am to 4 pm. In other words, they had all the time in the world to visit him and the children or vice versa, but it was HIS decision, for reasons known to himself, to deliberately keep his children away from them.
11.  CONCLUSION
1.        The family stands by Busayo’s story and has no reasons whatsoever to doubt her.
2.        Busayo did not attempt to escape and will not under any circumstances do so as there is no reason to do so.
3.        Busayo is unjustly being hounded out of hate, vindictiveness and pure malice, and because of the widespread practice of making widows scapegoats when things like this happen.
4.        We are waiting for the Police to conclude their investigations as quickly as possible as this is her fourth week of detention in Panti State Criminal Investigation Department.
5.        We will take any and all steps necessary to protect her rights and interests, and those of her infant children whose welfare does not appear to be of any concern to Seun’s family.
6.        Once again, we appreciate everyone who has stood by us and Busayo all this while and we know that by the Grace of God, this storm will blow over. This is a dark period in our daughter’s life; we know it will be morning yet and she will get back on her feet again!
7.        We pray for the repose of Oluwaseun Paul Olafare’s soul and plead with almighty God to forgive him his sins and grant him eternal grace. It is well with his soul, it is well with us all!
                                                  



                                                                           The Taiwo Family
0803 859 7944
kehindenubi@yahoo.com

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

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