Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Where And When Not To Approach A Lady


As important as it is to be willing to approach women you don’t know, it’s important to know when you shouldn’t be approaching them. As nerve-wracking as it might be for you to approach women, it can be an even more tense situation for the women being approached. Almost every woman out there has a story about being harassed by guys who wanted to “just say hello” and who thought that their desire to introduce themselves overrode her right to be left alone.

So unless she is giving you very explicit indications that she’s interested in talking to you… give her a pass. It’s better to “miss out” on
an opportunity than to end up being given a disparaging remark or get insulted.

I’m no expert in ladies affairs but I think this are some of the times you shouldn’t be approaching a lady ..

At Night (except in social spaces)

The social contract changes when the sun goes down. What is tolerable – if not expected – during the day is potentially threatening at night. Asking a lady for the time or directions during the day is completely normal. The
exact same behaviors at night seem like the prelude to a mugging.

You may have nothing but the most noble of intentions, but trying to approach a lady walking along the streets at night is most likely going to make her shiver with fear and she won’t feel convenient because lots of bad/wrong impressions will be running through her mind as to what is this stranger up to… She may not even grant you the audience.

When she is busy

when she’s reading, writing or working on her laptop. If she’s in a public place – a cafe, library, class what-have-you – and she’s busy, maybe on her laptop, then the odds are that she’s there because she really needed to get out of the apartment for a while. This means she’s there to work or study, not to flirt. And no, it doesn’t matter if you notice she’s updating her Facebook page instead of working on her thesis; if she was interested in talking to somebody, she wouldn’t be focusing on something else.

If you really want to ask her for her opinion maybe on a book she’s reading, then you can wait until she’s put the book down, rather than plopping yourself in the seat next to her and demanding that she pay attention to you.

At Work

For example, take anyone who works in a hotel, waitresses – especially ones at restaurants, bartenders, etc. Their job description is almost literally “Flirting. This doesn’t mean that these ladies are cockteases or are being dishonest, but a certain level of flirtiness often means a heavier tip from male customers. It’s professional flirting
without intent. But even those who aren’t overtly flirty have a vested interest in getting you to like them – it’s part of what helps bring customers
back. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who mistake professional niceness for genuine interest and assume that the waitress or the bartender is really into them.

But beyond not mistaking niceness for interest, there’s one major complicating factor: they are at work. They’re not there to get dates or make new friends, they’re there to do their job. They literally don’t have time for prolonged flirt sessions and, frankly, most of them would like to get through their workday with minimal hassle.

On Public Transportation

Mass transit is less of a convenient place for some ladies to interact freely. Moreso, it is not a safe space for ladies and she will already have her guard up when you try to say hello. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll let you know. Let her make the first move;

Don’t chat up a female pedestrian from your car

A Lady once told me its extremely frightening. No matter what time is it, you do something like that, it is sending out the message that you might drag the person into your car and drive off.

Sometimes yhu’ll see a very beeyootiful lady and yhu feel that pressure that says “if yhu don’t talk to her nownownow you’ll miss your opportunity and never see her again”, buh there are times when all a lady wants is to not have to deal with anyone, being respectful of her space and showing her courtesy is much more likely to make a positive impression on her than being one more headache in her daily commute.

There’s a time and place for everything.
Do you agree with this list?

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